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A letter to my Black Belts

Congratulations on becoming a Black Belt — whether it was a month ago or a decade ago it is an achievement to be proud of. Please notice that I used the term becoming a Black Belt. Some people mistakenly use the term getting, which misses the point. With deference, some people use the term earning. This is better. But still strikes wide of the mark. Through arduous study and training you became a Black Belt. The piece of fabric around your waist is simply a token to remind you of what you have become — but it was never the objective. The years, the sweat, the blood — that was not given to earn a belt, it was given in the service of becoming something more than you were.

Now answer me a couple of questions.

Are you a better or worse martial artist today than when you became a Black Belt? Do you train more — in and out of the dojo — or less than you did before becoming a Black Belt? Are you a better or worse student — that is to say, do you seek knowledge and challenge more or less aggressively — than you did before you became a Black Belt? Are you doing a better or worse job of realizing your potential as a human being than you did before becoming a Black Belt?

There is no answer key. You know what the correct answers are and you know how you scored. But let me explain why I am asking. A number of things happen as people advance in rank and especially when they become Black Belts — and not all of them are good.

When we become Black Belts we have a tendency to ‘believe our own’ press. Everyone thinks that Black Belts know everything — most of us thought that was true before we became Black Belts. However, now that we are Black Belts we should be honest — we don’t know everything. It is okay for other people to think so, just so long as we don’t delude ourselves.

This is important because to the extent that we believe that we know everything we shut ourselves off to additional learning. White Belts seldom make excuses for their mistakes, they know that they don’t know anything and are eager to learn. However, Black Belts sometimes choose to ‘explain’ why they made a mistake. Saying things like, “The reason I did it that way was. . . “ Statements like this preclude the possibility of learning — if your cup is so full, how could it possibly hold more?

Another stumbling block for some Black Belts is using an absolute — rather than relative — measure of their abilities. By doing so they feel very good about how far they have come rather than thinking about how much further they can go. For most people, by the time they become a Black Belt they are far better than they ever thought possible. The challenging part for any student is to realize that they have surpassed their former limitations, and that they must now push harder than they did before.

Workouts are a practice in variable resistance and we set the resistance ourselves by the power and speed of our movements, the depth of our stances, and the height of our kicks. Finding a workout to be ‘easy’ is not a comment on the workout — it means you weren’t trying. Today you might be able to strike harder than you could as a Green Belt without breaking a sweat, but you should be striking as hard as you can now. You might be able to hold a better horse stance than you could as a Blue Belt without even trying, but instead you should be in a much better horse stance. You have become more efficient and therefore must work even harder.

Maybe you feel like life has been busy and that this year will better. And I think you’re right. But this year will only be better if we make it better. Or maybe you don’t feel that this letter has anything to do with you, and maybe you’re right. But please keep it handy and read every now and then — just to make sure that it never does.

Either way, I think you’re great. I really do. I’ve always been proud of the quality of our instructors and students. There is an old saying (of mine) that everyone has their demons — we just take more notice of our own demons. I’ve never been impressed by people without challenges in their lives. I’m impressed by people who face up to their challenges and overcome them — like you.

With respect,

Chris Santillo
Black Belt

Student Profile: Rachel & Jonathan

When Jonathan decided to give Kempo a try, three-and-a-half years ago, he had no idea how that one decision would change his life. At the time, he wasn’t doing much in the way of fitness, and most of his time was spent at a desk job at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. He was overweight, out of shape and knew he needed to make a change.

It didn’t take Jonathan long to reap benefits from his practice. He began building up muscle, shedding pounds and feeling better prepared for activities he enjoyed, like hiking. Within six months, he had joined the Instructor Academy, through which he began teaching other students. He quickly moved to a mid-rank belt, and even outside the dojo, he felt better about himself. This new confidence came through on his Match.com profile, where he soon met Rachel. [Read more…] about Student Profile: Rachel & Jonathan

Student Profile: Erica

Growing up, Erica was more of a bookworm than an athlete. She took ballet and gymnastics classes, but she never played sports, and even as an adult, she shied away from activities that were too competitive. She had taken yoga and aerobics classes, but they generally didn’t hold her attention. Plus, she was looking for a new way to increase her fitness level and improve her flexibility and coordination.

In 2008, Erica ran into a Potomac Kempo instructor who offered her a free trial lesson. “When the opportunity came up, I was like, sure, I’ll give it a try,” says Erica, 43. “I had no experience with martial arts, and I didn’t know if it would be really aggressive or competitive—I just knew I didn’t want those things.”

The first class was fun, Erica says, and she signed up for more. At that point, she wasn’t sure if she’d be there as long as seven months. But seven years later, she’s more committed to the practice than ever.

She goes to the dojo three or four times a week and is now a Black Belt. Out of all the aspects of the practice, the ceremonial part—such as acknowledging your Sensei and bowing–was perhaps the most familiar to her, having lived in Japan for a couple years. The biggest challenge: getting accustomed to the physicality of the practice. “It’s a contact sport,” she says. “So learning to be more assertive physically is the hardest part. It’s less the fear of getting hurt and more just the way I was raised–like many women–that it’s not OK to hit people. Mostly it just takes practice.”

Erica says when she spars with other students, everyone is respectful, and the movements are controlled; she never feels unsafe. And she recognizes that the purpose of sparring is to help her and her partner improve—“not to pummel each other,” she laughs.

Much of what has kept Erica engaged in Kempo are the people—instructors and students alike. “I’ve made a lot of friends, and the teachers are tremendous,” she says. “Not just as martial artists, but as teachers. They make people feel like they can be successful, no matter what level they are.”

She has noticed significant improvement in terms of her cardio, balance and core strength, which she knows is important to protect her back as she gets older.

The biggest surprise? “The fact that I’ve done it consistently for so long,” she says. “I love the teachers, I love working with other people, and no two classes are alike.” She says it took her a long time to figure out what motivates her, and she determined that going to the same aerobic class or working out by herself in the weight room weren’t cutting it. “But being part of something social has kept me going. Plus, along with martial arts, sometimes we do goofy stuff, like play dodge ball. As adults, we underestimate the importance of fun and don’t have many opportunities in daily life for silliness. It’s tremendously healthy and tremendously stress-relieving.”

Kempo Essay: Andrew

How Has Kempo Training Benefited My Life?

Physically: Faster, Stronger, Lighter!

It has been around a year now, and the benefits have been remarkable. Firstly, and most notably, I’ve lost a *lot* of weight. Quickly. Fifteen pounds so far. Looking slimmer, old clothes now fit, I can shop one size down. Good news all around. This stands in stark contrast with my experience with other exercise regimes. I used to go to the gym regularly, watch what I eat, etc. But I’ve never had the type of results I’ve seen with Kempo. I’m still trying to work out what the difference is, as I’m pretty sure I worked just as hard before (at least it seemed that way).

My best guess is that it’s the nature of the challenge. Going to the gym, aside from being relatively dull, doesn’t really offer the same opportunity to test your limits. To truly stretch yourself and find that you’re capable of more than you thought. This, I think, is what makes the difference. And Kempo offers that opportunity on a continuing basis. There are always more ways to push yourself, and the instructors seem to understand that a key part of their mission is to find those challenges, and to constantly push you just that little bit further than you thought you could go.

Aside from weight loss, all the other benefits of martial arts (balance, coordination, flexibility, endurance) have all arrived as promised. My posture is better, I get less tired when traveling or working, and I’ve noticed a quantum increase in my overall energy level.

Mentally: Relaxed, Alert, Resilient!

Related to the physical challenges noted above, Kempo has strengthened my ability to “go that extra mile.” To face new challenges and opportunities undaunted. And to relax and concentrate deeply on the task at hand. This is not only about pushing yourself and discovering that you are capable of more than you think. It’s also about feeling comfortable in being able to take a hit. Part of life is learning that, no matter how good we are, we all take hits. The challenge is learning how best to take that hit and get back up. Kempo provides a direct physical analogy to that challenge, which carries over into our broader lives. We get hit. It hurts. But the world doesn’t end. We carry on, and if we’re paying attention, we may learn something. In my own recent experience, this lesson has come forward most clearly in dealing with a knee injury. I worried about sparring without being able to rely on my legs. It seemed unfair. I’d get hit a lot. But at some point, I realized that I actually wanted to learn how to spar without my legs (which may not always serve me well as I get older and older). Sure I get hit. Sure I feel like a beginner. But in the context of Kempo, getting hit is safe. And ultimately, as I’ve gotten better, the prospect of getting hit is not something I worry about any more. Accepting that I’ll get hit, and that this will help me learn, has enabled me to relax and push on. It’s a slow process, but I find myself enjoying the journey rather than fearing it.

Looking forward: More cool stuff!!

The rewarding part of Kempo is that the challenges never end. Having reached one goal, there is always the opportunity to focus and strive toward the next one. And as outlined above, the benefits of stretching yourself carry over into both your physical and mental well being. Personally, I’m looking forward to exploring some of the richer aspects and traditions of Shaolin Kempo, including in particular the aspects of the different animal fighting styles. I’ve enjoyed Master’s Club tremendously; watching the Black Belts demonstrate the different styles and thinking “Cool! When do I get to learn that?” The opportunities seem boundless, and I know it’ll be fun.

Andrew

Martial Artist and Economist

The Price of Excellence

Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die.

— Unknown

We pursue excellence in a thousand different ways, but for simplicity let’s just consider a person who wants be able to do more push ups — a noble goal to be sure. Let’s call him Jim and assume he can do ten push ups but he wants to be able to do twenty.

The pursuit of excellence is a long and arduous process. It can also be fun and enjoyable — but don’t forget that it is long and arduous. The first step in attaining excellence is to do more, and the second step in attaining excellence is . . . . doing more. If Jim wants to be able to do twenty push ups he won’t get there by practicing ten. He will only get there by doing twenty. How is that possible if he can only do ten, you ask? Perhaps the first time he tries to do twenty he will fail, perhaps he will only do twelve — that’s okay. The next time he tries to do twenty perhaps he will do fourteen. The important thing is that he is trying to do twenty, not trying to do fourteen, and certainly not trying to do ten.

People very commonly practice the same thing over and over assuming they are getting closer to their goal. By doing ten push ups every day Jim will become quite skilled at that task, but he will never reach his goal of twenty. There is great appeal in continuing to do ten push ups because it is much more gratifying — in the short-term — to succeed at doing ten push ups than to fail at doing twenty. However, in the long-term, getting to twenty is worth all the work. As Zig Ziglar put it, “Happiness is not pleasure, it’s victory.”

If you want to climb a mountain you need to climb the mountain, not a number of small hills. So pack up your gear, put on your boots, and start climbing the mountain. If you fail, take a rest, reflect, and then get up the next morning and try to climb the mountain again.

Oh, one other thing. If it’s easy, you’re not trying hard enough.

Master Chris Santillo

Student Profile: Jessica

Four years ago, kempo wasn’t even on Jessica’s radar. And as far as she was concerned, it was going to stay that way. Other than team sports in high school and lifeguarding during college, fitness and Jessica’s life, let’s just say, didn’t really cross paths.

Jessica, 36, worked as an auditor at Marriott’s headquarters in Bethesda, Md., and back in 2009, she spent 95 percent of her time on the road. She was charged with visiting 47 Ritz-Carlton hotels each year, and she usually worked 12-

hour days. “By the time you’re done, you’re going to your hotel room, eating something – how could I not be eating great food at the Ritz Carlton – and going to sleep,” she says. She did have a gym membership for maybe three or four years, and she used it… maybe three or four times.

But at a holiday party in 2009, Jessica ran into one of her colleagues – a lawyer named Bhavana. “She got there late, her hair was wet, and I asked her what was going on,” Jessica says. Bhavana told her she had just finished her green belt test in kempo, and she suggested Jessica join her for class sometime.

“I just smiled and nodded my head and said yes,” Jessica says. “You know how people say things and don’t really mean them? I thought she would forget all about it.”

But then the next week Bhavana showed up to hand Jessica a note with the address of the dojo. When Jessica argued that she was leaving town for the holidays, Bhavana came back with, “Good, after Christmas.”

“I kept trying to get out of it,” Jessica says. “She was not going to let me off the hook. And then I finally showed up, and I loved it.”

When Jessica began kempo in January 2010, she felt at home right away. The other students were welcoming, the workout was satisfying, and she didn’t have that feeling of people staring at her because she was uncoordinated, like she always did in fitness classes at the gym. (Only water aerobics – where most of her body was hidden underwater – felt safe.)

“I never pictured myself doing martial arts,” she says. “It seems like the kind of thing for people who are mean – like tough guys – and that’s not me! I’m a lover, not a fighter,” she says, laughing. Jessica’s stereotype was shattered when she got to class and found everyone to be friendly – not a mean person in sight.

The physical side of kempo has been challenging, for sure, but Jessica says her memory has been tested even more. In one of her first classes, an instructor went through about 10 different steps and then expected Jessica to repeat them. She was incredulous. But in order to make progress, she needed to learn more about herself and the way she takes in new information – it helped, for example, to see the movement, then write it down, then practice it. Now, she finds that her mind has been trained to remember more.

Jessica is modest about her physical achievements. When she began, she couldn’t do one push-up; now she can do 20 before continuing push-ups on her knees. Pre-kempo, she lacked upper body strength; today, she can see definition in her arms. And her balance used to be terrible – she could do a flamingo stance for a second or two; now, she can do it to a count of 100.

These days, Jessica has a new job at Marriott, as a director of finance, so her travel and her Ritz-Carlton room delivery have been largely curtailed. Her normal routine involves driving – 45 minutes from Gaithersburg to Alexandria – to the dojo three days a week.

Most importantly, Jessica has learned new things about herself. “I really didn’t think I could commit to something like this,” she says. “But now I’ve learned that if I make a commitment, I can keep it. Knowing that I have the discipline to see something through means a lot to me.” This summer in China, Jessica and Bhavana will both test for their black belts, and Jessica is excited about the opportunity, as well as the celebration of the progress she has made. She feels more confident, motivated and stronger – in many ways. And she is even inspiring others – because of her enthusiasm about kempo, her 6-year-old nephew is now learning martial arts.