Chris Santillo

Are You Successful?

Remember, success is a journey, not a destination.

~Bruce Lee

I’m not the first person to muse over the nature of success and I certainly won’t be the last. Most people find a feeling of success elusive at best. But it isn’t White Belts who don’t feel successful, more often it’s Black Belts. If, after years and years of study, a student still doesn’t feel successful how will they ever feel successful? The answer, of course, is that they won’t.

When a Black Belt doesn’t feel successful it is because they are operating within the wrong framework: They expect a certain — undefinable and unachievable — level of accomplishment to make them feel successful. However, despite their admirable dedication to this fruitless quest they never quite make it there because there keeps moving.

Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.

~Earl Nightingale

Enter Earl Nightingale — and Bruce Lee. That Black Belt who doesn’t feel successful is suffering from a fixation on the destination, rather than the journey. And that makes all the difference.

Destinations are static and must be defined in advance. They have the risk of being set too low or too high. If at some point you decide that you would like to become a Black Belt in the next five years most people will pat you on the back and tell you to get on your way. But what if that isn’t realistic for you? Are you ashamed of your weak performance relative to your goal? What if halfway there you realize that you would rather become something different? Have you given up on your goal or have your found a new one? Are you rationalizing giving up or moving toward something that is more important to you?

And those are just the problems you encounter on your way there. What if you get 95% of the way there but don’t quite make it — or make it a year late? Are you still successful? What if you become a Black Belt but could have become something more, so in fact you sold yourself short. Are you successful then? What if the Black Belt goal was perfect for you and you hit it right on the head. So you’re successful. What are you ten minutes after the party is over? Are you still successful? How long does it take to wear off?

The problems with defining success as a predetermined destination are many — though most people continue to treat it that way.

You are not successful because your achieved your goal — you are successful because you are working towards it.

So aim high. Don’t aim to become a Black Belt — aim to be the best martial artist that you can. Don’t aim to get a promotion — aim to excel in all facets of your chosen vocation. Don’t aim to get a good grade — aim to learn as much as you possibly can.

Now pick a goal and get to work.

Chris Santillo
Sensei, Master, etc

A Black Belt Test Everyday

When the sun rose this morning I was in my backyard practicing with a sword — my neighbors must think I’m nuts. Practicing with a sword? People think I’m training for a fight that happened on the other side of the planet a thousand years ago. But my fight wasn’t a thousand years ago, it’s now. And it isn’t on the other side of the planet, it’s here, inside of me.

I tested for my Black Belt a long time ago — and every day since. That’s what many people don’t understand about a Black Belt, you have to be worthy of it every day. Some days I do better than others, but every day I try.

Did you continue your journey today? Learning more and becoming stronger in a thousand ways? Did you live with integrity? Were you honest with yourself and others? Did you meet your obligations? Serve others? Teach others? Did you look for the best in others? Did you give the best of yourself without asking anything in return? These are the questions that stream through my mind every day.

Being a Black Belt is hard.
But I’m not really sure what the other option is.
Giving up? Not today.

Chris Santillo
Black Belt

Potomac Kempo - Shaolin Temple — The author hiking in the hills overlooking the Shaolin Temple

Kempo Essay: Ricky

A New Beginning

After immigrating to the United States of America (USA) last year, much has changed in my life. I have given up a successful career that I loved; left my family and friends, and given up my home. This was all a sacrifice, one for my family’s future. Moving to the USA has given me a chance to start fresh, not that my life was bad before, but I think my family and I can achieve an even happier future.

Joining Potomac Kempo has been a step towards achieving my ultimate goal of a happier and healthier life. Throughout the events of the past five months I have sacrificed too much for the cause, as I started to loose my health. As someone who sufferers with the chronic illness Ankylosing Spondylitis (AS), ‘looking after’ myself is key in my managing my condition. More specifically; maintaining flexibility through rigorous stretching and exercise regimes is paramount, ensuring that my daily pain and overall deterioration is kept to a minimum.

Moving to a new country and leaving your friends and family behind is difficult. But what is more difficult is making new friends. Being an expatriate can be isolating; especially when you are a stay-at-home parent. Finding a group of people I could socialize with who also shared a common interest was important to me. This was another driving force behind me approaching Potomac Kempo.

So far Potomac Kempo has exceeded all my expectations. Every person I have met at the Kingstowne branch of Potomac Kempo has been friendly and approachable. This has certainly helped me ease back into martial arts, and has helped to motivate me to continue to better myself, both physically and mentally. Even though I have only been a student at Potomac Kempo for just three short weeks, I have already noticed a change in my physical abilities, as well as making early progress to one of my long term goals of losing 30lb in weight.

It is my hope that in the coming weeks, months, and years, that my studies in Shaolin Kempo help me not only with my daily physical challenges, but will also help me to become more mentally resilient, so that I can be prepared for the challenges I may face in future years. Of course becoming a Black Belt is something I aspire to; but gaining the knowledge and experience that precedes the achievement — at this moment in time — is something that holds more value to me. My overall ambition is to become better than I once was, regardless of whatever rank that ends up being.

Written by Ricky White

(Essay requirement prior to taking the Yellow Belt ranking)

The Perfect Horse Stance

A horse stance should be painful.
Let me say that again, a horse stance should be painful.
I find that once we come to grips with this, the particulars become easier to accept.

Your feet should be one-and-a-half shoulder widths apart. The heels of your feet should be pushing outward, causing the blades of your feet to be parallel. This position should cause a stretch in the outside of your ankle.
Your knees should be bending and pushing out over your feet; the goal is having them over your big toe. This emphasis should open your hips and fatigue your quadriceps.
Your hips should be pulling forward, straightening your lower back and further stretching your hips.
Your shoulders should be pulling down and your fists should be pulling tightly against your sides, as high and as far back as possible. You should feel a stretch across the front of your chest and fatigue across your back.
Your eyes should be focussing straight forward at shoulder level despite all distractions.

None of this should be comfortable, comfort is not the goal. The goal is to train the body to be strong and well-balanced, the mind to be clear and focused, and the spirit to be steadfast.

Chris Santillo
Circa 2004

I originally wrote this for a newsletter more than ten years ago. I was more than a little flattered to learn that one of my students had kept a tattered copy all of these years. After rereading it I found that I still liked it and wanted to share it again.
In particular I enjoyed the use of the active voice. Instead of suggesting that your feet should be apart it emphasizes that your feet should be ‘pushing’ outward. A horse stance is not a static position, it is a dynamic masterpiece that you must create in each moment.
I also appreciate the emphasis on the horse stance being a anvil for forging the body, mind, and spirit. The physical benefits of a horse stance are obvious, but are dwarfed by the benefits for the mind and the spirit. Gaining the ability to focus amidst life’s distractions sharpens the mind. Forcing your body and mind to persist when they want to quit develops your spirit.

The horse stance was a integral part of our training a thousand years ago, ten years ago, and very much still today.

Chris Santillo
2015

Student Profile: Brett

Five years ago, Brett’s 4-year-old son Nicolas went poking around his father’s closet and discovered several karate belts.

He said, “Dad, I didn’t know you did karate,” Brett remembers. “I told him, ‘Yeah, 20 years ago,’ and he said, ‘You should be a white belt!’”

Brett had, in fact, been considering a return to the dojo. When he went there for Nicolas’s classes, he found himself talking to the instructors and was intrigued enough to think about getting back into martial arts.

At that point, Brett, who runs an international company, knew he was overworked, out of shape and about 30 pounds overweight. After hanging out at the dojo, he says, his competitive spirit got the best of him, and he signed up for a class. And another. And the by the third class, the shock wore off, and his body was exhausted and sore.

“I saw Master Santillo and said, ‘Boy, I need a lifestyle change,’” he said. Brett promised himself that he would train three days a week. That was five years ago. Last summer, after some torn muscles, broken toes, bruises and years of hard work, he earned his Black Belt.

“I had never really thought of being a Black Belt, but I realized it would be a good example for my son and a good way to get in shape,” Brett says. (He now has two sons training—9-year-old Nicolas is a second degree brown belt, and 6-year-old Anthony is a purple belt.) “I was determined to see it through that first phase of the goal.”

When Brett was in his early 20s, he practiced a powerful style of Japanese karate that involves weapons. The instructor was a former Marine, and workouts were extreme, such as running through the woods barefoot. He trained for about two years, until he earned his green belt, and then not again until he was 45.

After two decades, Brett said he had forgotten most of his previous training. “The instruction I got from Master Santillo and the other teachers really set my foundation,” he says. “It was like starting from ground zero.” Plus, in his 20s, Brett—a lifelong competitive athlete who had played football, hockey and baseball–was just looking for a good workout. These days, he’s seeking more.

“I think when you’re older and do Kempo, there’s a more mature approach to it in terms of the benefits,” he says. “It’s not just physical, but mental and spiritual. There’s a very contemplative process that can impact your ability to handle fast-paced business.”

Brett’s business, which imports granite for upscale buildings, involves a significant amount of international travel, which he says wreaks havoc on his body. He often works 12-14-hour days. “Being Type A and running a business for more than 100 employees, it gets stressful,” he says. “But now, in addition to improving my cardio, stamina, flexibility and strength, I feel less anxious and stressed about everyday outcomes in business. It’s given me a more temperate mentality.”

Brett has kept his commitment to leave his desk and go to the dojo three days a week, no matter what else needs his attention. He’s found that Kempo is a good antidote for all the work-related stress. He does an ancient form (which he learned from monks in China two years ago) before each workout, which he describes as, “wringing water out of the sponge. It just cleanses me of any stress I have,” he says. “Between that and a little meditation, I can drop all the problems I have during the day and really focus on training.”

When Brett travels, which is usually close to the Mediterranean, he does forms on his own, by the beach, and he keeps up with his stretching, walking, pushups, jumping jacks and a little running.

Brett knows the community of other students at the dojo has helped him push further than he imagined. For years, he had a consistent training partner who matched his level of competitiveness; the pair earned their Black Belts at the same time. “I’m very competitive by nature, and I like to finish first if I can,” Brett says. “I may not finish first all the time, but I’ll try to do the maximum amount for myself. If you’re always pushing yourself to go the extra mile, you’re probably getting the most out of it.”

As for the self-defense aspect of Kempo, Brett says the practice gives students the confidence to defend themselves, but that’s a last resort. “We’re training to maim someone,” he says. “What we’re taught—and I subscribe to this—is that it’s an insurance policy for a very bad day.”

Brett says he’s still working on conditioning, stretching and kicking in particular, but he knows Kempo is a lifelong art. “No one will ever attain perfection,” he says. “You can learn from everyone in the dojo, no matter what their rank is.”

Now that he’s achieved his first goal, he’s focusing on his second: a Second Degree Black Belt by age 55.

Brett recommends Kempo to a lot of people, but it’s a special person who is willing to take it on, he says. “It’s a long road, and the road has some disappointments.” His advice: be patient, listen, and don’t measure your progress by comparing it to someone else’s. “If you’re diligent and practice and are willing to commit yourself, you’ll meet your goals. And it’s great fun.”

A letter to my Black Belts

Congratulations on becoming a Black Belt — whether it was a month ago or a decade ago it is an achievement to be proud of. Please notice that I used the term becoming a Black Belt. Some people mistakenly use the term getting, which misses the point. With deference, some people use the term earning. This is better. But still strikes wide of the mark. Through arduous study and training you became a Black Belt. The piece of fabric around your waist is simply a token to remind you of what you have become — but it was never the objective. The years, the sweat, the blood — that was not given to earn a belt, it was given in the service of becoming something more than you were.

Now answer me a couple of questions.

Are you a better or worse martial artist today than when you became a Black Belt? Do you train more — in and out of the dojo — or less than you did before becoming a Black Belt? Are you a better or worse student — that is to say, do you seek knowledge and challenge more or less aggressively — than you did before you became a Black Belt? Are you doing a better or worse job of realizing your potential as a human being than you did before becoming a Black Belt?

There is no answer key. You know what the correct answers are and you know how you scored. But let me explain why I am asking. A number of things happen as people advance in rank and especially when they become Black Belts — and not all of them are good.

When we become Black Belts we have a tendency to ‘believe our own’ press. Everyone thinks that Black Belts know everything — most of us thought that was true before we became Black Belts. However, now that we are Black Belts we should be honest — we don’t know everything. It is okay for other people to think so, just so long as we don’t delude ourselves.

This is important because to the extent that we believe that we know everything we shut ourselves off to additional learning. White Belts seldom make excuses for their mistakes, they know that they don’t know anything and are eager to learn. However, Black Belts sometimes choose to ‘explain’ why they made a mistake. Saying things like, “The reason I did it that way was. . . “ Statements like this preclude the possibility of learning — if your cup is so full, how could it possibly hold more?

Another stumbling block for some Black Belts is using an absolute — rather than relative — measure of their abilities. By doing so they feel very good about how far they have come rather than thinking about how much further they can go. For most people, by the time they become a Black Belt they are far better than they ever thought possible. The challenging part for any student is to realize that they have surpassed their former limitations, and that they must now push harder than they did before.

Workouts are a practice in variable resistance and we set the resistance ourselves by the power and speed of our movements, the depth of our stances, and the height of our kicks. Finding a workout to be ‘easy’ is not a comment on the workout — it means you weren’t trying. Today you might be able to strike harder than you could as a Green Belt without breaking a sweat, but you should be striking as hard as you can now. You might be able to hold a better horse stance than you could as a Blue Belt without even trying, but instead you should be in a much better horse stance. You have become more efficient and therefore must work even harder.

Maybe you feel like life has been busy and that this year will better. And I think you’re right. But this year will only be better if we make it better. Or maybe you don’t feel that this letter has anything to do with you, and maybe you’re right. But please keep it handy and read every now and then — just to make sure that it never does.

Either way, I think you’re great. I really do. I’ve always been proud of the quality of our instructors and students. There is an old saying (of mine) that everyone has their demons — we just take more notice of our own demons. I’ve never been impressed by people without challenges in their lives. I’m impressed by people who face up to their challenges and overcome them — like you.

With respect,

Chris Santillo
Black Belt