Potomac Kempo

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The Balance of Humility and Pride: Lessons from Kempo

Humility and pride might seem like opposites, but they coexist beautifully. In Kempo and life, true growth arises from balancing these qualities.

What does it mean to balance humility and pride? Are they opposites, or can they coexist? True humility isn’t about downplaying your achievements but recognizing your potential and the vast opportunities for growth. It’s not about minimizing what you’ve accomplished but embracing the journey of what’s still possible. Similarly, pride, when rooted in genuine effort and self-improvement, can be a powerful motivator. In Kempo, humility and pride are not opposing forces but complementary qualities that drive personal growth.

Understanding Humility and Pride

Humility is often defined simply as “not bragging.” While this definition may seem reductive, it is actionable and deeply instructive. In practice, humility is about acknowledging our room for growth and acting in ways that reflect respect for ourselves and others.

Pride, on the other hand, is tied to our sense of self-worth. The key question is: Who is the most important source of your pride? The answer is yourself. However, many people struggle with this. We’re often our own harshest critics, aware of our flaws and failures, which makes self-pride challenging. This inner conflict can lead to a paradox: criticizing ourselves privately while boasting publicly—a contradiction that undermines true humility.

Potomac Kempo - Humility and Pride

How Kempo Teaches Humility and Pride

In Kempo, the lessons of humility and pride come alive through practice. Two guiding principles help us cultivate both qualities:

  1. Do the best you possibly can.
  2. Strive to improve upon your previous efforts.

This simple yet profound philosophy shifts the focus away from comparing ourselves to others and instead emphasizes personal growth. Consider the following examples:

Alex and Mia: A Tale of Two Runners

Imagine Alex, a 10-year-old, running a race against 5-year-olds. She wins easily, but the victory feels hollow. Why? Because Alex didn’t push herself to her limits. Her pride would be justified only if she ran faster than ever before. Without that effort, the accomplishment rings shallow.

Now, picture Mia, a 5-year-old, racing against older children. Despite her determination, she finishes last. Should she feel ashamed? Not at all. If Mia ran her hardest and improved her time compared to her previous races, she has every reason to feel proud. Even in defeat, her effort and progress make the experience a success.

These stories illustrate that pride and humility aren’t about outcomes but about effort and growth.

Potomac Kempo - Humility and Pride

Cultivating Balance Through Martial Arts

Kempo provides a perfect environment for developing the balance of humility and pride. Martial arts constantly challenge you to perform at your best, refine your skills, and surpass your previous efforts. Yet, the practice also instills respect—for yourself, your instructors, and your peers.

Each step forward in Kempo is an opportunity to grow stronger, both physically and mentally, while embodying the balance of humility and pride. The satisfaction comes not from external validation but from the quiet confidence that arises from genuine effort.

A Perfect Place to Grow

Practicing Kempo is more than just physical training; it’s a journey of self-discovery. True pride and humility coexist when we focus on doing our best, striving for improvement, and letting our actions speak for themselves. When pride arises from within, it needs no external validation. And when humility guides our actions, it needs no explanation.

Takeaway

Humility and pride are not opposites but partners on the path to growth. Through consistent effort and a commitment to improvement, you can cultivate both qualities, allowing them to complement and strengthen each other. In Kempo, as in life, this balance is the foundation for true success.

Three Awarded Fourth Degree Black Belts at Potomac Kempo

Potomac Kempo - Santillo Simpson Gibbs Jelsma - Fourth Degree Black Belt

Sometimes the best amongst us are the humblest, which is certainly the case with these exemplary martial artists.

For many people, the practice of martial arts is a strange—possibly intimidating—concept. People often wonder what happens in a ‘dojo’ with unfortunate misconceptions often perpetuated by movies and television. But the martial arts, and specifically the art of Kempo, which we choose to practice, is not strange or mysterious. It is an ancient self-improvement practice with fitness training and self-defense fitted in to fill out the edges.

In life, we often find that our greatest adversary is ourselves, as we all too often stand in our own way—sometimes going so far as to sabotage ourselves actively. But in Kempo, we work to overcome these traits by developing and utilizing methods that work in the studio and as well as in other aspects of life. By doing so, we work to create well-rounded, successful, and healthy lives.

In this spirit, we wish to acknowledge the accomplishment of three of our most esteemed students. In December 2021, Kevin Simpson, Jon Jelsma, and Geof Gibbs earned their Fourth Degree Black Belts in the Art of Kempo. They are the first students to reach this level in Potomac Kempo’s seventeen-year history, representing less than one-tenth of one percent of our students.

These gentlemen have practiced the martial arts for an average of twenty years, teaching as well as training, and have studied multiple arts.

In addition to his Kempo practice, Kevin Simpson has studied Ninjutsu, Hapkido, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and Army Combatives, in which he is a Level 2 Certified Instructor. He is a Sergeant First Class in the US Army Band, and he volunteers to teach both Kempo classes and grappling basics.

Before practicing Kempo, Jon Jelsma studied Tae Kwon Do, Shorin Ryu Karate, and Fencing. Amidst his Kempo practice, he has also studied Jeet Kun Do, Pekiti Tirsia Kali, Inosanto Academy Kali, and Kosho Ryu Kempo. He is a patent examiner for the US Patent and Trademark Office and volunteers to teach Kempo and Kali classes throughout the week.

Geof Gibbs began his martial arts practice with Kempo and has since come to supplement it with the study of Kali and Kosho Shorei Ryu. Having left a former life as a computer scientist, he is now a career instructor, acting as our Senior Staff Trainer and the Chief Instructor of our Huntington Metro studio location in Alexandria, Virginia. In addition to teaching Kempo, he leads our Kosho Club. Consistent with our relatively new tradition of passing on belts, Geof was presented with my own Fourth Degree Black Belt that I wore when I was that rank.

We are honored by their accomplishments and are proud to have them as part of the Potomac Kempo team. It is rightly said that “You are only as good as the people you train with,” and these exemplary practitioners are an asset to all of Potomac Kempo. Their work is a testament to lifetimes of dedication, learning, and growth.

One final thought:

As I sat on the floor of an empty studio presenting belts to three very sweaty persons, I searched for words to capture the moment, for praise that would not seem redundant or superfluous. My mind circled twice, and I settled back on humility. I have known these men for decades; we have spent more hours training together than I could begin to count. They are my most accomplished students, yet they may also be my most humble students. And I don’t think that is an accident or coincidence. In martial arts, we tell the story of a student whose cup is so full it will not hold any more tea. Through all of these years, Kevin, Jon, and Geof have all managed to keep an empty cup, space to learn, never believing that they have learned it all.

I wish them a lifetime of continued success and health.

Chris Santillo, Sensei
Potomac Kempo
Founder, Headmaster
Godan, Shihan, Master, Guru

Potomac Kempo Simpson Gibbs Jelsma Fourth Degree Black Belt

The Long Way to Belgium

The Long Way to Belgium

Our path to Belgium started a decade ago in Pennsylvania. Obviously.

One of my students was headed to a martial arts seminar in Pennsylvania. I reached out to the host, and he graciously invited me to join the roster of instructors. It was a humbling experience, and I say without reservation that I learned far more than I taught and am still a student of the host, Sensei Jeff Driscoll, Kyoshi.

While in Pennsylvania, I met another of Sensei Driscoll’s students, Sensei Bart De Backer, Shihan. He, in turn, invited me to join with the other instructors at a seminar that he hosted. Again, it was a humbling and enlightening experience to be amongst such a host of skilled martial arts professionals.

Potomac Kempo - Santillo - The Long Way to Belgium

While at Sensei De Backer’s seminar, I met Sempai Bart Matthijs, Sempai Bene Laloo, and Sensei Rik Moelaert, Renshi, who, many years later, invited me to teach at their event in Belgium this Fall. This seminar was in honor of Shinkai Kempo Karate’s Tenth Anniversary and was impeccably professional and impressively international.

Instructors from five different countries gathered to inspire students of all ranks and ages to achieve a new level of martial arts understanding. Here was a chance to interact with the larger world of martial arts and see that, even in a different country, with instructors speaking many different languages, we have a common language of martial arts principles.

In addition to being a rewarding intercultural and educational experience, this seminar was particularly memorable because I had the privilege of sharing it with Sensei Gary Covington, Sensei Geof Gibbs, and Sensei Kevin Simpson, who flew across the Atlantic for the opportunity to participate.

Potomac Kempo - Santillo - The Long Way to Belgium
Potomac Kempo Family Reunion in Belgium

Furthermore, we were all the more delighted when the host instructors invited us to guest teach Shinkai’s next evening of classes. Sensei Holly Santillo, Renshi taught the children’s classes, and I led the adult classes. What a wonderful group of enthusiastic students! It was a delight and a joy to get to work with them.

There may be many ways to get to Belgium, but the most direct way seems to be to meet people, make friends, and accept invitations. Regardless of where opportunities and invitations arise, if you have the chance to participate in such events, I encourage you to do so! Spending dedicated time immersed in the practice of martial arts, surrounded by people of similar passion, is truly fulfilling.

And you never know where it might take you!

Respectfully and gratefully,
Sensei Chris Santillo, Shihan

Potomac Kempo - Santillo - The Long Way to Belgium

Relax, you’re falling.

What do you think about as you fall headfirst towards the ground?

Or, more to the point, what should you think about?

If the surface is pavement or gravel?

Should you tense for impact?

No, obviously, you should just relax.

In the case of falling, as in so many instances, our instincts are flawed. If you are falling towards the Earth, you should not tense for impact. Instead, relax and roll with it. Fall intentionally. There is no guarantee that you won’t be injured, but rolling with a fall will minimize its impact. And make no mistake, it is a skill best practiced in advance.

And so we practice, class after class. In the dojo and hopefully at home too, we practice falling and rolling forward, backward, to the side, with a twist, with only one leg, blindfolded, and while holding a glass of water. We practice these skills so that when we find ourselves heading towards the ground more precipitously than intended, we can bring ourselves to rest safely.

It might be worth noting that, despite our martial framework, in life we are much more likely to fall towards the ground for a banal reason than as the result of an attack. We sometimes stumble over a curb, trip amidst a friendly game of soccer, jump over one of our children, or comically slip on a banana peel. But falling is falling whether someone threw you down or you fell of your own accord. Relaxing and going with energy is always the best way to prevent or minimize injury.

Let’s go further. As is so often the case when discussing martial principles, I am compelled to find the broader application of a particular practice.

In this instance, we can consider the ground to be a difficulty, obstacle, or challenge. We are so often tempted to tense as life’s little speed-bumps come hurtling towards us. But that seldom does us any real good, and much more often does us actual harm. When we become rigid in preparation for conflict, we are bracing for when and where we believe we will take the brunt of the impact. But life—and rolls—are seldom like that.

We often like to rehearse important conversations in our head, maybe asking for a promotion, requesting a grade be revised, or discussing a political position. But to the extent that we believe we have structured the conversation in advance, we have degraded our ability to feel the conversation as it unfolds and respond appropriately in real-time.

If we’re nervous about anticipated pain—perhaps getting an injection—your tension will make the pain worse by double. Tensing a muscle causes the needle to cut more fibers, not fewer. Here, as in so many instances, we are best served by breathing and relaxing. It’ll only last for a moment. 

Inevitably the real force that we encounter is from a slightly different place, time, or direction than we anticipated. And stay with me—this is the whole point—to the extent that we brace for one kind of impact, we make ourselves more vulnerable for all others.

As we tumble to the ground, we may believe that we know precisely when we will hit, at what angle, and how much the ground will—or won’t—give. We’re never quite right.

Instead, our best bet is to feel the impact and relax around it—exhaling and dynamically structuring our bodies in a slowly expanding curve while tucking in our pointy bits. 

No conversation will ever go as planned, and no two will ever be the same. In the same way, no fall will ever go as you anticipate, and the ground will never be the same twice. 

So relax.

Potomac Kempo - Chris Santillo - Relax youre falling
Photo credit: Cascades Photography. Click here for the complete video.

Our Mission

Our Mission is to positively impact the world by inspiring excellence in the men, women, and children we serve — challenging them to become healthier, happier, and better through the practice of the Martial Arts.

Potomac Kempo Mission Statement

I believe firsthand in the power of these words. A mission statement is an organization’s effort to articulate its purpose to the world and, though our mission statement serves that purpose, it began simply as a personal quest. 

Potomac Kempo - Our Mission
Visiting the Shaolin Temple, Henan, China in 2001

The word, “healthier,” hearkens back to my earliest days as a martial artist. Not long after first putting on my white belt, I began to experience the benefits that practicing martial arts has to offer. The conditioning I acquired through my training afforded me well-rounded physical well-being that elevated my abilities in many other activities. I could hike, bike, run, climb, and endure challenges with grace and aplomb while feeling vibrant and healthy.

Finding this mastery of my body led me to discover the possibility of possessing similar results with my mind. I could better stay on task, work toward long-term goals, and modulate my internal states. I became happier. I came to believe that anything was possible. 

The concept of being “better” evolved more slowly, and couldn’t become clearly articulated until I laid down the Pillars of Kempo, much later in my career. I feel that the Learning, Integrity, and Service integral to the martial arts are the foundation for building a better life. In the absence of Learning, we are empty; we lack the substance from which to build a life. We must be open to that Learning, in the dojo and beyond. Building a solid life requires Integrity — being honest and fulfilling our obligations. And through Service, we give that life significance.

Potomac Kempo - Our Mission

As I became an instructor, I was able to see my students experience these same benefits. Later, my wife, Holly, became a student and eventually our children, too, began their training. As I write this now, I can appreciate the benefit of martial arts training as a student, an instructor, a partner, and a parent. And I love it. 

Potomac Kempo - Our Mission

This life is a shared experience. We live alongside all the other people in our world, and we are continually impacting them — either for better or worse. By elevating ourselves through our martial arts training, we can, in a very real sense, make the world a better place. From one person to many, we change the world by sharing the lessons Kempo teaches us. 

It is worth noting, though, that I can do none of this by myself; nor can Potomac Kempo. It is only through our students that we can change the world. To this end, we challenge our students to rise to the occasion, become the best version of themselves, and join with us in making the world a better place.

Reprising our Mission Statement feels particularly poignant as we celebrate the opening of our fifth school. With love and admiration, we congratulate Renshi Cassie and Mr. Cothran on the opening of our newest location: Potomac Kempo – National Landing. 

Chris Santillo, Shihan
Founder, Head Instructor

Potomac Kempo - Our Mission
Holly being promoted to her current rank

Book Release: Resilience Parenting

It is well understood that martial arts training helps to develop kids who are resilient — strong, adaptable, and able to recover. What is the secret? Our instructor training focuses on how to be the best possible teacher for every student and how to drive lessons through the three Pillars of Learning, Service, and Integrity. 

Being the best possible teacher for every student is involved and challenging, but it is a learnable skill. It involves having the right mindset, taking advantage of all possible educational opportunities (both planned and unplanned), communicating effectively, and about a thousand other things. 

Learning, Service, and Integrity are high ideals. Teaching them effectively requires a familiarity with the principles as well as an understanding of how they can be integrated into a child’s everyday, moment-to-moment life. 

For years we have taught this methodology to generations of instructors and now we offer it to parents everywhere. Our book, Resilience Parenting: Raising Resilient Children in an Era of Detachment and Dependence puts into the hands of parents the tools necessary to raise strong, adaptable, resilient children.

Resilience Parenting Raising Resilient Children in an Era of Detachment and Dependence Connectedness Independence Learning Service Integrity
Now available on Amazon.